Dr. Ira Byock has written a book that we use a lot at work. In his end of life work he has seen what becomes most important to people at the end of life. Basically his thesis states that there are four things that matter most to people hence the title of one of his books, "The Four Things That Matter Most." These four things are to say and hear "I love you" with those who are most important in your life; to say and hear "thank you" with those who are most important in your life; to offer forgiveness; and to receive forgiveness.
All too often we work with families that wait until their loved one is in a terminal state or at least with a terminal diagnosis to express these things - if they do at all. It is almost the mentality of cramming for a test on the night before rather than studying all semester and learning the material as you go.
However, there are times in our work that we see families that have been intentional about showing and expressing these 4 things throughout the life of the patient. And you know what - I can tell you it makes a difference in the way those patients are able to die.
This came out loud and clear today as I sat with the daughter of a patient who told her mother, "I am so glad that you spent your whole life hearing and knowing how much you are loved by your family." Her mom just laid in bed with a huge smile on her face.
Beloved, let us love one another. For love is of God and everyone that loves is born of God and knows God...
Give thanks in all circumstances...
Forgive as you have been forgiven....
I love my job. For the people I work with, the people I get to meet, and the incredible things I get to witness. I love my job.
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