Good bye's

In my work we talk a lot about how to say good-bye. A lot of really hard but really good things can come out of families intentionally using the time they have with loved ones preparing for their death. I've heard many a time from family members that there are times when they feel that "this visit" was the last time they would see their mother, father, or whatever family member again. Even though they weren't necessarily going to die that night or within the next few days due to geographical distance or some other reason there would probably not be another time to see them.

If you were in the same position, have you thought of what your last words would be? How about if you were the one leaving and you were the one that would "they" wouldn't see again? What would you want them to know?

All these questions were brought up as I did my weekly bible study fellowship questions. A part of our study covered Acts 20: 22 - 38.

²² “And now, compelled by the Spirit, I am going to Jerusalem, not knowing what will happen to me there. ²³ I only know that in every city the Holy Spirit warns me that prison and hardships are facing me. ²⁴ However, I consider my life worth nothing to me; my only aim is to finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me—the task of testifying to the good news of God’s grace.

²⁵ “Now I know that none of you among whom I have gone about preaching the kingdom will ever see me again. ²⁶ Therefore, I declare to you today that I am innocent of the blood of any of you. ²⁷ For I have not hesitated to proclaim to you the whole will of God. ²⁸ Keep watch over yourselves and all the flock of which the Holy Spirit has made you overseers. Be shepherds of the church of God,^[a] which he bought with his own blood.^{[b] 29} I know that after I leave, savage wolves will come in among you and will not spare the flock. ³⁰ Even from your own number men will arise and distort the truth in order to draw away disciples after them. ³¹ So be on your guard! Remember that for three years I never stopped warning each of you night and day with tears.

³² “Now I commit you to God and to the word of his grace, which can build you up and give you an inheritance among all those who are sanctified. ³³ I have not coveted anyone’s silver or gold or clothing. ³⁴ You yourselves know that these hands of mine have supplied my own needs and the needs of my companions. ³⁵ In everything I did, I showed you that by this kind of hard work we must help the weak, remembering the words the Lord Jesus himself said: ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’ ”

³⁶ When Paul had finished speaking, he knelt down with all of them and prayed. ³⁷ They all wept as they embraced him and kissed him. ³⁸ What grieved them most was his statement that they would never see his face again. Then they accompanied him to the ship.

Some things stand out to me as I read about Paul's good-bye.

1. He tells them why he is leaving - basically he is getting his instructions from God.
2. His future is unknown to him - the only thing he does know that it's not going to be easy.
3. Despite knowing the difficulty ahead of him he considers his own life less than what God has for him.
4. He leaves with a clear conscience regarding his relationship to those he is leaving - he has to his best ability imparted the truth about the gospel to them.
5. He warns and encourages those he is leaving that things will not be easy for them either and tries to prepare them for things they might experience.
6. He commits them to God and encourages them that he himself is dependent on God for all of his provision and they should be too.
7. He kneels with them, prays with them, and weeps with them - showing that he is connected to them and loves them but his love for them is only possible because of his primary love for the Lord.

Just in case you don't understand the depth of relationship here and the difficulty of his departure read the first verse in chapter 21: After we had torn ourselves away from them, we put out to sea and sailed straight to Cos.

I remember that every time we would leave my grandparents house when I was little they would cry. We didn't live close so we didn't have the opportunity to see time very often. I always wondered why they cried. Saying good-bye to people that mean that much to you - even if it is likely that you will see them again is hard. But that is the great mystery here - we don't ever really know if we will see the person(s) we leave again. Stuff happens. So I guess the moral of the story is be intentional with every moment so that when it does come time to say good-bye, if you are given that chance, the love you express will be the capstone to a lifetime of that very expression rather than a last ditch effort to say and do what should have been said and done all along.